Terms of Endearment in English at B1: Love, Babe, Hun, Darling and Mate
A woman in a shop in Manchester calls you love. A colleague in Sydney calls you mate. Your partner writes hun at the end of a text, and your partner is not even sure why. English is full of small affectionate words, and the same word can mean romance in one place and nothing at all in another. This guide sorts them by what they signal and who is allowed to say them.
A term of endearment is a small word you use instead of a name to show warmth. English has many of them, and the difficulty for learners is not the meaning, which is simple, but the setting. Some words are only for partners. Some are for children and old friends. Some are said to strangers all day long by people who mean nothing romantic by them. If you move to an English-speaking country, or you are with an English-speaking partner, you will hear all three kinds within a week.
If a relationship is part of the reason you are learning, the wider picture in learning the language of your partner is a useful background. This article is the narrow, practical part: what each word signals, and which ones are safe to use.
The words for a partner
These are the words that couples use for each other. They vary in how private they feel. Darling and sweetheart are traditional and slightly more formal, and they are still very much alive. Babe and baby are the everyday informal choices, especially among younger couples. Honey is strongly American. In most cases the choice is just habit: couples settle on something, and it becomes theirs.
| Word | Feel | Typical use |
|---|---|---|
| darling | Warm, a little old-fashioned, common in the UK | Thank you, darling. |
| sweetheart | Tender, quite traditional | Come here, sweetheart. |
| babe / baby | Casual and affectionate, younger couples | Hey babe, I am home. |
| honey / hon | Very American, warm and everyday | Honey, did you see my keys? |
| love | Common in the UK and Ireland, both romantic and friendly | Cup of tea, love? |
| sweetie | Gentle, also used with children | You look tired, sweetie. |
| my love | Direct and romantic, less casual | I miss you, my love. |
| gorgeous / handsome / beautiful | Compliments used as names, personal | Morning, gorgeous. |
The word that is not romantic: mate
Mate is the most important word in this article for learners who are afraid of getting it wrong. It means friend, it is used mostly by men and mostly in Britain, Ireland, Australia and New Zealand, and it is not romantic at all. Two men who barely know each other say mate, and so do colleagues. In Australia it is used to almost everybody. In some situations it can even sound cold or slightly threatening, as in Listen, mate, which is not friendly.
So if someone calls you mate, the message is simple: you are fine, no problem, we are on friendly terms. Do not read anything more into it. Americans use buddy, pal and man in a similar way, and dude between friends. A related word is bro, which is also informal and comes from brother. None of these should be used with a partner as a pet name unless both of you find it funny.
Love, duck, pet and hen: the regional ones
In much of Britain, love is a normal word for a stranger. A shop assistant, a bus driver or a woman at a market stall may say Thanks, love or What can I get you, love? It is meant kindly, it is not flirting, and you are not expected to say it back. Similar words exist in different regions: pet in the north-east of England and also in parts of Ireland, duck in the East Midlands, hen in Scotland, and petal or chuck in some northern towns. These local words are part of the charm of a place, and they are worth recognising.
In Ireland, love and pet are both used, often by older speakers. There is also the Irish-language word a stor, sometimes written astore, meaning my treasure, which older people still use affectionately. In Australia, darl for darling is casual and common, and older speakers may call a woman love.
| Word | Where | What it signals |
|---|---|---|
| love | UK, Ireland | Friendly, often to strangers, not romantic in a shop |
| duck | East Midlands, England | Friendly and local, used by both men and women |
| pet | North-east England, some of Ireland | Kind, warm, sometimes to children |
| hen | Scotland | Friendly, mostly to women |
| honey / hon | USA | Warm, common with waiters, often the South and Midwest |
| sugar | USA, especially the South | Very warm, regional |
| darl | Australia | Casual, short for darling |
| mate | UK, Ireland, Australia, New Zealand | Friendly, not romantic |
| dear | UK, USA | Older speakers, can sound patient or slightly patronising |
When a pet name is a problem
Not everyone welcomes them. At work, especially, a stranger who calls a colleague honey or darling may cause offence, because it can sound like the speaker sees the other person as less important. Many people, particularly younger ones, dislike it from a stranger even in a shop. You do not have to be afraid of it. Just notice the setting, and the person.
The rule for a learner is easy: you can receive these words with a smile, and you should be careful about giving them. Use them with a partner, with close friends and with family if they use them first. With a customer, a colleague or a neighbour, use their name. If you are not sure, wait and see what the other person does.
- Received from a shop assistant or driver: fine, just say thank you.
- Used by you with a partner: fine, choose the one that sounds like you.
- Used by you with a colleague or a stranger: avoid, use the name.
- Used by an older relative of your partner: usually warm, take it as a welcome.
- Mate between men: friendly and not romantic in any way.
Hun, babe and the text message
Hun is short for honey, but it is now used mostly in British texting, often between women who are friends. Thanks hun and Hope you are ok hun are not romantic. The same is true of babe and babes, which are often friendly in a group chat. A kiss written as x, or xx, at the end of a message is also usually friendly between friends in Britain, and it becomes a signal only in context.
The difference between friendship and romance is often in the rest of the message, not in the word. Miss you, hun with a long story is friendly. Miss you, babe, coming home soon is a partner. For more everyday words of this kind, the B1 vocabulary list is a good place to build a base.
British and American differences at a glance
Broadly speaking, Americans use honey, hon, sweetie and babe. British speakers use love, darling, babe and pet, depending on the region. Both use sweetheart. An American who calls a waiter buddy is being casual, and a British person who calls a waiter mate is doing the same. These are tendencies, not rules, and family habits vary more than country habits.
When you meet the family of a partner, the words you hear are a good clue to how welcome you are. If a parent calls you love or sweetheart, that is almost always a sign of acceptance. Meeting the family in English covers what to say in that situation.
Making the words yours
Choose the two or three words from this guide that you want to understand at once, and the one or two you might want to say. Save them as cards in MindDory with a short example sentence and where you heard them, and review them in the app until you recognise them without thinking. Words like these are learned best from real situations, so a note such as said by the woman at the bakery works better than a definition.